Dear Jacob,
Oh I miss you so. I miss your face. Your kiss lips. Those big hands and feet. I miss your cute lil faces; raising your eyebrows, your toothless grins in your sleep. I just miss it all. I know you are too busy worshiping to be thinking of me but I miss you just the same.
Mommy
I got it!
Sweepy Bear
Original Four
Skittles is gone... but now we have Lilly!
Us in College
Pathetic Smithers
He just HAS to have a blanky or pillow to sleep.
Scout- Joels Doggie
Drop it, drop it, I need to rip it to shreds so won't you drop it already!
Snickers
Pick me up already!
Silly Lilly
What a difference a loving home makes!
Sleeping Jacob
Asleep with mom, as always.
My Duckbill
My Garden
17 comments:
I am praying for you all the time, my heart hurts so much for you guys. I hate that you are going through this time.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what it must be like. I have been reading the blog Bring The Rain. I'm sure you two feel a bit the same. I'll be praying.
{SO sorry...that precious comment was mine.}
I found your blog through Angie and Audrey Smith. I want you to know that I have already said a prayer for you and your pain and your grief and your questions and your hurt. Sometimes life and death do not make sense. I have lived through the darkness and just want to offer you some Hope. God's ways are higher. And although that didn't bring comfort to me in my grief, it brings peace in full now. To know that God can use even death to bring us into new beauty and life is a miracle. I pray you will know this miracle full well.
Jacob is a beautiful baby. My heart hurts for you and your longing for him. I hope you will turn to God for strength and comfort and give Him all you have- even if it's emptiness and brokeness. He is a Redeemer and Healer and I have been blown away in my own life as I have watched God unfold goodness where there was only pain.
I send love and prayers for you at this deeply sorrowful and questioning time. I pray you will find mercy on this journey you find yourself now. Most sincerely~ Jody Ferlaak
Words cannot even begin to make things better...but I pray that God holds you tonight as you are overcome with the sadness of losing your precious little guy.
Rosie from IL....
Joy, I am so sorry that you are having to go through. I would truly never wish this pain on anyone and I do know what you are feeling. That deep aching in your heart and the inability to process a single thought beyond the pain will get better. I know that it is so hard to the light in it right now. Someone told me when I was at my lowest, that life will get "different." That is so true. Things will never be the same without our babies, but it can get different enough that you will find joy in living again. I am here for you, whatever you need. There is a group online that I have found some comfort in, it is dailystrength.org. They have a SIDS group.
It takes time, but soon, you will believe again that God is with you and that he knows your pain and hurts with you. This was not his will, but he still has a great plan for your life. Good will come from this for you and everyone that sweet Jacob's life has touched.
Love, Jennifer
My heart is so heavy and sad tonight for you and how you are missing your baby boy. Tonight I'm pleading with God to bring you His peace and comfort. We know our Loving Lord hates death so much, even more than we do...so He died to conquer death. In a little while we will be with Jesus. And with Jacob again. And although the days until that day seem unbearable, I pray God will bring you through them one at a time with grace and peace, and someday, even joy, like Jennifer said.
I found your blog from your comment on Angie's blog. My heart is so touched for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I looked at the pictures of your beautiful son and I know sometimes your heart can hardly bear the sorrow. I pray that God will lead you through this difficult time to His healing and redemption. I am in a difficult time of loss as well and someone sent this verse to me. I hope it will encourage you. We will cry out to the Lord and trust Him to be our light. "Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be light." Micah 7:8
Holding you close in thoughts and prayers.
Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
I miss Jacob so much and reading what Mom wrote for him, just brought me to tears and they won't stop.
Jacob,
I miss you so much my little guy, but I will see you in heaven, we all will. I can remember when grandma ridenour told your mommy that I was hoping for another nephew and I was so glad that you came into this world, then God took you to heaven to live with Him there. I think of you so much and I love you so much.
Love,
your favorite auntie Helen
I am not sure what to say. There are not words for these times. I found your words to Jacob moving.
There's so much we don't know about heaven, but my faith allows room for our loved ones to continue to think of us and love us as they worship in Christ's presence. Love of Christ doesn't crowd out love for each other; it is the source and perfection of all love. I am sure that while, through God's mercy, Jacob's heart isn't breaking in heaven, it is overflowing with love for you.
I hope that you will find comfort and faith in dark moments, in spite of the overwhelming pain and the senselessness of his loss.
Just wanted to let you know that we are still praying for you and thinking of you guys often. Let me know if you need anything.
Joel and Joy,
We are still praying for you and thinking of you every minute. Love you, the Maudlins
I lost my firstborn at birth but it is nothing in comparison to having your sweet child for six weeks. My heart aches for you! I will be praying
I do not know you guys, but I found your blog through The Green's blog. I am so so sorry that you guys are going through this and I'm crying reading your notes to Jacob.
I am praying for you right now and trusting that the God of comfort has you wrapped in His arms.
Blessings of comfort to you,
Lauren Larsen
I am so pained for you guys! May God hold you so tightly that you feel it! I am praying for you all the time!
Much love!
Oh Joy, I'm so sorry. We have been praying, and will continue to pray.
It has been such a long time. 13 years? You look the same as you did then... beautiful. I'm so glad you are blogging.
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